I Love My Mom

I love my mom, and finding out this has honestly been so surreal. You don't realize how much someone impacts you or your life until something like this happens. I mean, my mom brought me into this world, so that alone is a pretty big impact I think. I guess I've been trying to be so strong this entire time, I've accepted that she has cancer, and pretty bad cancer, but I haven't been as emotional as most people would be I guess. I know that she needs all the positive energy she can get to make it through this, and that is exactly what I hope I have been giving her. She really is an amazing person who does not deserve this to happen in her life. It's been such an eye-opener I think for all of us. Maybe I haven't been so emotional because I know she's going to pull through and be fine. I know she is. She's a tough cookie.

Even though everyone keeps telling me that she will be fine and that they have all this new technology out there, well to be honest, in the beginning it wasn't about that. It was about wrapping my brain around the fact that for the next year my mom is going to suffer. That she's going to be in pain. I understand that they have all these ways of taking care of cancer, but it's not about that, it's about someone who's been there for me my entire life, looking out for me, taking care of me no matter what stupid things I did, who has loved me unconditionally, is now going to suffer immensely. It's all just really devastating. People die from cancer everyday. That's the scariest thought. It just hurts. I could never picture her not being in our lives anymore. She was always there. In the big plan of my life, she was always there, and we aren't going to let this ruin our plans.

Now I've been able to see through all the morbid thoughts, the only way to get through this is to believe and hope with everything I have that she will be okay, because now, there's no way she can't be okay; because I believe... I know, she will be fine. I love my mom.